Saturday, April 21, 2012

Wurst Chase Ever: Man Arrested In Deli Section of Werribee Supermarket

A man in a deli section of an undisclosed supermarket yesterday. 
"A man, police wanted to talk to in relation to a theft matter, ran into a Werribee supermarket and took refuge in the delicatessen section earlier today."
Obviously the cops were yelling "SIR, WE NEED TO TALK TO YOU IN RELATION TO A THEFT MATTER!" Great use, of commas, by the way.

Next sentence, the media officer uses some flair..
The 44-year-old Port Melbourne man, with police hot on his tail, ran into the store on the corner of Tarneit and Shaws roads at 12.20pm. 
"Hot on his tail" indeed.
"The man ran through the store, jumped the deli counter and armed himself with two knives threatening self harm. The store was cleared of customers and staff while police negotiated with the man."
"The man was arrested with no injury and was conveyed to the Werribee Mercy Hospital for assessment."
Conveyed. Not taken. Conveyed. Anyone want to convey me in a northerly direction to the airport next week?
"He is expected to be charged on summons with public transport offences and theft."
Luckily, no smallgoods were harmed.

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